


That Didn't Just Happen, Right?

by aethkr



Series: It's Hard to Let Go of Something so Promising [1]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst, F/F, Heartbreak, diary format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-21 07:10:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12452271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aethkr/pseuds/aethkr
Summary: Hanamaru and Ruby broke up, leaving their friendship at risk. With nothing to do to cope, Ruby writes in her diary every once and while to deal with the burning pain. Hopefully it helps, she wishes.And since when did Yoshiko have feelings for Hanamaru anyway?





	1. I'll Be Okay

_“Probably we’re better off as friends.”_

** [1] I'll Be Okay  **

* * *

 

**October 22, 2017**

Dear Diary,

                             You know, I think Hanamaru and I broke up. I don’t know why. She told me that she “was going through some tough times and needed some space”. I never realized it was about us so I agreed to give her some room. Since then I never heard from her. We rarely talked during class because she flocks over to Yoshiko for some reason. It’s annoying since not only is she going to Yoshiko to confide something confidential to her, but Yoshiko seems like she _knows_ what going on!

                             Then she called me over after class to tell me that she quit. We’re over. I don’t know how to interpret it. I don’t want to believe that we’re over. I want to believe that there is still an us and she just wants a break. Maybe she has something going on with her parents? If I remember correctly, we never confessed to our parents about our relationship and neither did we admit our sexuality. Honestly, I don’t think Aqours know about it either…..except for Yoshiko, her pitying eyes are raising so many signals.

                             It doesn’t matter right? We’ll be alright tomorrow. I will see her smiles, her face, everything. Today was just a dream and tomorrow is the time I will wake up. Today is not real and is just a figment of my imagination. My brain is making things up.

                             Hmmmm……I’ll be okay in the morning, hopefully. That didn’t just happen, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work will only have 3 chapters since it's nearing the end of October. Once November kicks in, the works following this will have more chapters.
> 
> And since it's in a diary format, I don't think it's really necessary to put more than 1000+ words in. To make up for it though, I'll try to convey the emotions as I write. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the first installment in the 'It's Hard to Let Go of Something so Promising'' ^_^
> 
> x


	2. This Isn't True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I don't want her to leave....at least not now."_

_“Everything around me is a lie.”_

** This Isn’t True **

**October 26, 2017**

Dear Diary,

                             Today wasn’t the best day. Hanamaru was actually serious about breaking up with me. It’s still difficult to believe. I can’t wrap it around my head. After almost _two_ years of being together she leaves. It’s not that I can blame her, who knows what she’s going through right now?

                             Unfortunately, they picked up the awkward tension between Hanamaru and me. I mean, we’ve become very close throughout our time together so seeing both of us trying to stay away or at least, she’s trying to avoid contact with me, was weird. Luckily though luckily, they haven’t noticed Yoshiko looking worried for Hanamaru.

                             Wait a minute, Hanamaru? Does that mean…? No…it can’t be. If anything Yoshiko has eyes for Riko. I remember that she confessed to me about liking her…….5 months ago.

                             They asked me if I was fine. They asked if Hanamaru was fine. Yoshiko said that we’ve been acting like this since Sunday to which we both denied, with her avoiding eye contact. And I swear if I looked into her eyes, I would’ve cried right on the spot.

                             Dia asked me when we got home if something was wrong between Hanamaru and me because it’s unusual to see both of us trying to avoid each other. Because, and I quote, “you **loved** each other don’t you?” I was unable to respond so I just nodded. I’m not used to lying to my sister! I can’t blame myself. Well, I can blame myself for the destruction of our relationship….yeah. I can do that.

                             Now more people knows about the awkward tension…this is going to be great. Hmm…I have to do something. My new goal for the next months is to beg for a second chance from Hanamaru. I don’t want her to leave…..at least not now.

                            

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda forget to put when I was gonna update so I'll put it now. The last chapter will be published on Oct. 31 [Philippine Time]. 
> 
> It's also surprising how it gained 100+ views despite it being short. I'm happy ^_^
> 
> x


	3. Tell Me What's Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby attended You's diving competition with the others.

_“Love is like a mountain. Once you fall down, you’ll have difficulty getting back up; but with determination and effort, you'll conquer it once again.”_

 

**October 31, 2017**

Dear Diary,

                             We attended Yō’s diving competition today. It was so hyped! Everyone there was as good as her! I guess that’s what happens when you dedicate so much time into something huh? You keep on improving and improving by practicing that every single time you get better and better and better. Isn’t that amazing? I heard that she has to balance her time with Aqours and with the swimming team. That’s quite the feat if you ask me.

                             Also, Hanamaru and Yoshiko talked a lot during the competition. I felt a little jealous. I don’t want to say I’m jealous because we broke up, it sounds like a bad excuse. It’s more like I felt like I was being put out of our circle of friends. I know that we’re over and all but I don’t think it’s fair to just not allow me to interact with her. And Yoshiko had the  **nerve** to act all protective over her. DIDN’T YOU LIKE RIKO?! LIKE SERIOUSLY YOSHIKO?! I KNOW YOU'RE FRIENDS AND ALL BUT YOU'RE JUST BEING PLAIN UNFAIR! ALLOW ME TO GO  **TO** HER! YOU'RE MAKING THINGS WORSE!

                             It’s _messing_ with my head because I don’t know whether I did something **wrong** or _not_ that caused the end of our relationship. It’s _messing_ with my head because it hurts to see her with someone else who puts on a smile on their face when it should be me! Yet I continue to stare and watch in envy instead of fixing the problem. That’s how I live. I watch from the sidelines waiting for the problem to be fixed instead of going out to the open to help make the solution. I’m **that** **much** of a _coward_.

                             At the same time though, it’s nice to see that Hanamaru is taking the break up nicely. Maybe because she’s the one who broke up with me instead of the other way around? I don’t know. It just makes me happy in a way to see her not gloomy and depressed. I always **loved** seeing her happy. It was a favorite pastime of mine to watch her go to sleep. I’d stay up late at night to see her adorably fall asleep.

                             Mari and Kanan approached me today you know? They were concerned about Hanamaru and me. I know that the others were concerned as well but Kanan and Mari went out of their way to help me. A kind gesture, I might add. They told me that they saw me looking at Hanamaru and Yoshiko in a jealous manner. I laughed and shrugged it off but they were insistent. It was kinda scary so I called out for Dia. Luckily for me, she helped me and I didn’t have to answer their questions!

                             I feel really,  _ **really**_ tense today. Maybe because I’m still not over the break up? Well, break ups aren’t easy to get over with in the first place. Ah! Dia's going to see if I'm asleep. That's it for today!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? This work was the portrayal of the first stage: Denial. 
> 
> I'll be posting the sequel to this on November 1. Also, I moved the publication of this chapter a day before because I was excited. 
> 
> The next stage will be Anger. I will try to portray Ruby's frustration and confusion over the breakup. I hope I do well!


End file.
